Aug
30
8 Tips for Better People Skills
Filed Under People Skills, Communication
If you're new here, welcome!You may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. You can also subscribe for email updates if you'd like. Thanks for visiting!
In my opinion, social skills are a must for anyone seeking personal or professional success. How you interact with people will open (or close) doors in every aspect of your life. Not a people person? Not a problem! Introverted people should not fear social situations. There are a few basic tricks that can help you “work the room” in almost any situation.
1. Ask questions
Be inquisitive and really listen to how people answer. Open ended questions are the best for getting people talking.
For example:
“I was living in Peru.”
“Wow. What was that like?”
Pretty easy. They can’t respond “yes” or “no” so it gets them talking.
2. Show genuine interest
I’m not saying to fake it but try to remember that people are fascinating. They all have stories and they all have little funny quirks. Keep your eyes and ears open and you’ll be entertained. Show your interest by smiling, nodding, and asking more questions.
3. Remember names
You won’t make any new contacts if you can’t remember names. You can’t say, “Hey you” and expect people to feel liked or respected. And that’s what most people want from a new friend or contact. So remembering someone’s name is a wonderful and easy way to show them that you listened to them, valued them, and cared enough to commit their name to memory. If you need help coming up with a strategy for how to do this, check out One Easy Way to Remember Someone’s Name (from the Positivity Blog) or Tricks to Remember People’s Names (from Dumb Little Man). They both offer some great ideas. I also use rhymes or other silly word tricks. Like when I meet a funny girl named Sally she’s “Silly Sally”. Or a weird guy named Todd is “Odd Todd”. You get the idea.
4. Steer the conversation towards positive topics
No one likes to get stuck with a downer. Don’t complain and don’t throw a pity party. Keep it light, especially at social functions. At business functions, it’s ok to talk business but try to have fun with it. Tell funny stories from work but don’t get too deep. If you’re not in the office, most people don’t want to get into a heavy work conversation.
5. Find common ground
Be on the look out for things you have in common with others. Share that bond with them. “Oh you like jazz? I love jazz!” You’ll be talking jazz all night. Likewise, steer clear of arguing. “You like jazz? Are you nuts? I hate jazz!” Not a good way to go. And don’t forget the three no-no’s: sex, religion, and politics. There are too many points of view on these topics and you can’t tell just by looking at someone what theirs will be. Even when you know someone quite well, they can surprise you on their views with these things. Don’t walk into that battle.
6. Beware of T.M.I.
Too Much Information is a sickness and some people suffer greatly with it. You know you’re one of those people if you find yourself telling all the gory details of the stomach flu you got last week. You know you’re one of those people if you find yourself detailing every step of the car accident you had, complete with drawing a diagram of the pile up. Stop yourself before you alienate another potential friend or business associate. No one wants to get stuck in the corner with Mr. or Mrs. T.M.I. Leave something to the imagination.
7. Know when the conversation is over
It’s ok to let a conversation come to a natural end and then say, “Please excuse me. I think we’re expected to mingle.” Don’t feel like you have to continue talking to the same person all night. Check out How to Exit a Conversation from Lifehack for some more ideas on how to end a conversation.
8. Make eye contact, laugh appropriately and smile
Looking friendly goes a long way. I’ve found that, if I’m standing alone at a party and I smile at anyone who crosses my path, I will always end up in a conversation. It just happens. People know it’s not fun to stand alone at a party. They see you smile and it’s an invitation to come over and chat. I also threw “laugh appropriately” into this last tip because I think it’s nice to give a courtesy laugh when someone attempts a joke, even if it’s not funny (unless it’s offensive, in which case you can just glare instead). But when someone gives a crack at comedy, yuk it up for their benefit. It keeps the mood light and keeps them talking. If you don’t laugh, they’ll clam up quickly.
If you liked this article, please consider subscribing to our feed (or subscribe for a daily email!). If you found it helpful, why not Digg It, Stumble It or Email it to a friend using the Share Link below? Share the love!! It’s easy!
If you liked that post, then try these...
It's Not Rocket Science: How to Explain a Complex Idea by Chrissy on January 16th, 2008
Are You Using the Sandwich? by Chrissy on March 14th, 2008
Giving Positive Feedback by Chrissy on November 28th, 2007
Comments
5 Responses to “8 Tips for Better People Skills”
Leave a Reply
-
The E-book: Learn More
Only $10.99 USD
Thanks so much for bringing this useful information to us all. Two years ago I became an EA after leaving a different career, moving and getting married. Needless to say the changes were a bit overwhelming. If anyone thinks an Admin job is “easy” they have never been one! I wish there had been something out there like this when I started. So many things seem like common sense, but we are not always focused where we need to be. I have found your tips and comments really useful and look forward to continuing to benefit from them.
One trick I have learned in trying to remember someone’s name is to ask them how they spell their name. Even if they have a simple name, there are often one or two variations and I usually can get away without looking like I’ve simply forgotten.
Excellent article! Very useful and well written!
Excellent article! Being shy and thrust into a Sr. support role I’ve had to find ways around my often awkward social feelings. The smiling when at a social event is most definitely true. I have found that a smile and an interested attitude can really make a world of difference.
[…] a few more tips on that will help you make a winning first impression, check out 8 Tips For Better People Skills at the Executive Assistant’s […]
I read your blog regularly. Thanks for all the practical, valuable information. Keep up the great work.
I especially liked the post on energizing yourself.Let me see if I can push myself to do Yoga postures.
Thanks.
Karthik.