Sep
27
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I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty bad at hiding my emotions. I’m the world’s worst eye roller. I’m a big fan of the heavy sigh that unquestionably signals boredom, And nothing whips my boyfriend into a panic more than my single eyebrow lift.
Sometimes, my body conspires against me and displays my emotions with no specific instruction from my brain. For example, my typically pale face turns flaming red whenever I’m angry or embarrassed or (dare I share this?)…a little flirty.
In the last few years however, I’ve discovered that showing your every little emotion at work isn’t necessarily a wise idea. In fact, it can potentially cause a lot of unnecessary problems, embarrassment and career roadblocks. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to walk around like a zombie. Emotions do play a role in business. The key is to use them effectively. You can’t simply let your emotions run the show. Here are a few questions to ask yourself that will help you in this process:
What is the emotion?
Is it positive or negative? This is the basis on which all other decisions should be made. Are you feeling excited, passionate and energized? Or are you feeling irritated, frustrated and stressed? Take a few minutes to completely identify exactly what you are feeling. Be aware that emotions like to disguise themselves. (For example, I’ve found that excitement is often disguised by fear. Once I can get past the fear, the excitement can truly shine through. )
Where is the emotion coming from?
Try to pinpoint the source of your feelings. Is it your job? Your co-workers? Your personal life? What is true cause of the emotion? Again, be aware that the subconscious often displaces emotions. This simply means that frustration at home may build up and spill over into work (and vice versa). So, while you may feel frustrated by someone at work, the emotion might actually be rooted in something (or someone) entirely different.
Will “showing” the emotion be productive?
Let’s say you’re angry with your co-worker. Ask yourself,”Is the situation likely to improve if I share my feelings?” Probably not. It’s best to let the anger wear off and then address the underlying issue - the work issue, not the emotional one. Do your best to distinguish between feelings and concrete fact.
Let’s say your co-worker had failed to do their assignment which caused your work to be negatively impacted. Yes, you have every right to be angry. But that emotion won’t get you anywhere. Let it fade and then approach your co-worker by telling them the impact their actions (or lack thereof) caused on you and your work. You can explain your feelings much more professionally, clearly and understandably when the emotion is no longer there and you’re only dealing in facts.
Is this emotion something that strengthens me or weakens me?
This question is incredibly empowering. Focus on your goals and try to see if your emotions are helping or hindering them. Generally speaking, positive emotions (such as excitement, passion and joy) encourage productivity while negative emotions (such as anger, frustration and fear) inhibit productivity. Of course, this isn’t always the case. There are plenty of things that happen as a result of negative emotions. However, these things are not typically “good” things. Often, people find that decisions made based on negative emotions (whether trying to heal them, ignore them or feed off of them) have negative consequences. Do your best to identify those emotions that may weaken your spirit and don’t act upon them. Let them pass with time.
I hope this helps you and I’d love to read some comments from you guys. Let me know how you deal with emotions at work!
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4 Responses to “Caution: Your Emotions Are Showing”
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Hi Christine,
Just putting together the latest Personal Development Carnival and have just finished reading your article.
I believe the stop think and breathe policy is always wise before releasing any tangled emotions into the work place environment. You are so right in saying ….Is this emotion something that strengthens or weakens me? Great.
Peace, love and chocolate
Carole
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