Oct
17
The Relationship Between Executive and Assistant
Filed Under Success/Career Growth, Everyday Tips, Team Building, Communication
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Remember the movie, “Devil Wears Prada”? Believe it or not, I used to think that the relationship between executive and assistant typically looked something like that. Sure, it was a little exaggerated. But overall, I thought that being an assistant meant generally being walked on, taking abuse and getting the coffee. Of course, good sense then took over and I realized that the relationship shown in that movie (a wonderful, funny movie everyone should see!) was not a healthy, productive or appropriate one.
Many people still think of “executive assistants” and their role as something similar to what is seen in that movie - an underling who is so driven to get a “foot in the door” that they are willing to be stepped on and treated like dirt. Unfortunately, that’s an image that’s been around for a while and it may be hard to shake. But there’s no reason any of us have to live up to that ridiculous representation. Neither executives nor their assistants should fall into the idea of thinking that their relationship is one of “master and servant”. It most certainly is not. Below, I have outlined a few things the relationship should be.
Remember that when I refer to the relationship between executive and assistant, I am simply referring to any working relationship where one party supports the work of another party. The “assistant” could be called an administrative person, secretary, or any other title that indicates the role is supportive of one or many “executive(s)” - which could be managers, team leaders, supervisors, etc.
1. The relationship should be…..A Partnership
When you break it down, the sole duty of the assistant is to help the executive (and the business) succeed. In reality, most executives could not achieve their success without their loyal, hardworking assistants. Both parties must realize that they need each other. They are stronger as a team. They must both support each other and understand that they are a partnership. Just as the assistant supports the goals of the executive, the executive must know, understand and truly support those of the assistant. Ideally, their goals will work synergistically together, meaning that when one person achieves their goal it helps propel the other towards theirs and vice versa. Synergy is when the result is greater than the sum of the individual efforts. Together they both go further towards reaching their goals than either would separately. Understanding this critical fact is the essential foundation on which this relationship should be built.
2. The relationship should be….Mutually Respectful
Along with the understanding of the above described partnership, a mutual respect for one another is vital. This means, among other things, recognizing and appreciating one another’s personal limitations, strengths, weaknesses, and abilities AND accepting these things without judgment. Respect means that you place value on them as a person. You consider everything about them - even their flaws - valuable. You don’t yell, act rudely or criticize. Because you respect them, you try to resolve differences and problems in a productive way that preserves their worth and does not degrade them.
3. The relationship should be….Rewarding for Both Parties
The relationship must provide benefit for both the executive and the assistant. It can’t simply be a one way street. As an assistant, you provide an enormous amount of benefit for the executive. However, it must go both ways. The position must benefit your personal goals and must meet your required expectations in terms of the salary, education, lifestyle and personal satisfaction it affords you. The benefit should not be one sided.
4. The relationship should be….Loyal and Trusting
Without trust and loyalty, the relationship will always falter. You both must be willing to stick it out. Day to day, things can get hectic. Situations can occur where you will need to stand up for one another. Because you are a team, it’s important to know you each other’s “back”. Once that loyalty is in place, it is often a rock solid bond that causes executives to bring their assistant’s with them wherever they go - a nice arrangement IF the relationship is right.
5. The relationship should be….Honest and Open
Communication is often the trickiest piece of the puzzle when it comes to the relationship. It’s important that both parties keep the lines of communication wide open. Grievances and disagreements should be discussed and handled in an appropriate way. Question one another and get to know everything you can about your counterpart. Talk a lot. Don’t hold back and certainly do not ever lie to one another. That will break the loyalty and trust that you both work so hard to maintain. Always communicate with respect for the partnership.
If you liked that post, then try these...
Big Fish, Little Pond by Chrissy on March 11th, 2008
What Are Your Professional Values? by Chrissy on April 21st, 2008
5 Tips for Being a Team Player by Chrissy on April 1st, 2008
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Did you see last night’s The Office? Michael was watching that movie and started to treat Pam like that. Then he finished it and apologized to her as it turns out that Meryl Streep was “the bad guy” and he “didn’t see that one coming”
Too funny! I didn’t see it…I’ll have to download it this weekend. What timing, huh?
Hi, I’ve been in my current position for 9 months. The last two months, I’ve suddenly had a problem with PMS, for one day each month. I’ve made a doctor’s appointment to see what I need to do.
This month, I took a sick day on the day. Last month, I found myself crying to my boss about something that was really upsetting and frustrating me about how my position was being used, and also this particularly difficult coworker.
On Friday, that coworker called and said that “[My boss] spoke to [her boss] and said that she had ‘made me cry’.” She was calling to apologize but I was livid and mortified. I feel embarrassed and betrayed.
I don’t know if I should talk to him about it, or just try to let it go and hope that more tear-free months repair the damage. I am *really, really* not happy about it, but what can I do?
Lizriz - Wow, that’s a hard one….I think you’re definitely right to be upset. Remember that most women fall victim to the monthly emotional overload and end up crying at work at some point. Your boss was probably trying to improve the situation by speaking to the co-workers boss. I agree that telling the other person about your crying was not appropriate though. I think you should discuss your feelings with your boss, explaining that you’ve been having some imbalances with your hormones and are working with a doctor to improve the situation. Appologize for the tears and ask that your private conversations be kept strictly between you in the future.
Recently, I cried to my boss when a client was rude to me. It was a culmination of a lot of stress that came pouring out unexpectedly. The next day, I told him I was sorry that I overreacted. He appreciated my talking to him about it and was glad to hear that the situation was not more serious than that. So, the discussion is (in my opinion) a helpful way to go.
As far as the feeling of betrayal goes, I think that should be addressed too. How are you supposed to have an honest relationship if you’re worried that your boss is discussing private matters with others? Again, I think your boss was trying to help but didn’t do it appropriately. A conversation is definitely in order with this one. Good luck!