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The internet can be a great tool for meeting people. Take it from me: I met my boyfriend of 3 years, “Mr. Toolbox”, online. I’m not ashamed! It’s not nearly as taboo as it once was. Real, honest and wonderful people are using the internet instead of hitting up singles bars. It’s a much better scene, trust me.

I also met three of my closest girlfriends online when I started a Chick Lit book club. That was 3 years ago too and we’re still going strong. And look at all the great contacts I’ve made through this website! I’ve met an incredible number of people who share similar goals and have similar interests. The internet has been an amazing resource for me, both professionally and personally.

But it’s important to recognize and respect the difference between professional and social networking online, and it’s critical to keep the two separate as much as possible.

For example, consider MySpace and Facebook. These are social networking sites where people connect with friends or others with similar interests. They are used to meet people and just have fun. Most likely, you wouldn’t send a prospective employer to your MySpace page, right? After all, do they really need to see that comment from your old college buddy sharing the story of your 21st birthday? Probably not. Keep in mind that anything you put on these sites is not private. No matter what “settings” you choose, consider any information you put on the internet public. So, in theory, a prospective employer could still stumble upon your MySpace page. Just for fun, Google yourself and see what comes up. Employers are doing this more and more now as they research job candidates. It’s always wise to use caution on any social networking site for just this reason. General rule of thumb: don’t post anything you wouldn’t want your boss and your grandmother seeing.

LinkedIn is an example of a professional networking site. People are able to publish information regarding their work experience and professional history. They can then connect with other people who have worked for the same company or who know people they know. It’s a great tool for really networking. Many employers are using it to find qualified individuals that are in their “circle”. It’s a great way to find candidates who are already known by someone you trust and/or have worked with before. It’s also a great tool for finding a job. If you are trying to get a job with a particular company, you can browse your contacts to see if you know anyone who currently works there. These days, it’s all about who you know!

Online professional networking is also useful for simply doing your job more effectively. By connecting with other people in your same or similar profession, you can learn and share all kinds of productivity tips and tricks. Tomorrow, I’ll introduce you to a site that will help you do just that – connect with other office professionals and gain access to “the wisdom of the crowd”.

The internet can be an extremely helpful professional tool if you use it correctly. It can also be a fun place to really express your creative side and make new friends. Just remember to use common sense along the way. Don’t give out overly personal information like your social security number or your home address. And remember that the internet is like the Wild West – the rules are still fuzzy so be careful out there. Even reputable sites get hacked. And of course, remember that the internet will never replace strong face-to-face communication and networking skills. So use it to supplement your existing professional and personal networks.

Back when I was a bank manager, I interviewed people all the time. Though I don’t do it as much anymore, I recently remembered a wonderful tool we used in the process. It’s called the STAR method and I think it’s worth sharing.

When you’re on the hunt for a new job, the interview process can be overwhelming and intimidating. One of the best things you can do is prepare for it. The STAR method is a perfect tool to help you get ready and you can also use it in the interview to help show off your real world experience.

Most of the time, the person or people interviewing you want to know if you possess the necessary skill and experience to do the job you’re applying for. The best way to show them that you have what they’re looking for is to share specific stories of when you used particular skills in your work experience.

The STAR method breaks this down:

Situation (or Task)

Describe what was happening and what needed to be accomplished. Be specific – don’t generalize by saying “I always…” Pick one particular event.

Action

Describe specifically what you did.

Result

Explain what happened, what was accomplished, what you learned, etc.

Share these three things in each of your answers and you’ll be putting your best foot forward.

For example, most interviewers start off by saying, “Tell me a little about yourself.” This is a great opportunity to use the STAR method. For each quality you list, support it by stating a situation in which you displayed that quality, the action that showed it, and the result.

Answer: I’m a very hard worker. For example, in my current job, we recently went through a merger (SITUATION) and we had to transfer all of our files to a new computer system (TASK). It was very time consuming but business was at a stand-still until it got done. So I worked for 3 weekends in a row to help finish the project (ACTION). We ended up completing it ahead of schedule by 4 days, which saved the company thousands of dollars (RESULT).

You see how effective an answer like that can be? It’s so much more convincing. Most people just blurt out the standard words that they think employers want to hear: goal oriented, team player, driven…they don’t back it up with real world examples.

You can easily prepare for an interview by sitting down and thinking of situations in which you used your skills. If you’re going for a job that will require a lot of technical skill, think of a few situations in which you really demonstrated your abilities. If you are applying for a customer service position, prepare a few stories of times when you performed above and beyond for a client.

Be sure to know the results of your work as well. If you need to, write down specifics. It’s very impressive to be able to pinpoint the exact dollars you saved the company, the precise number of sales you made, or the specific compliment a client paid you. Don’t be afraid to make notes and use them. This shows that you care and that you took some time to think seriously about what you bring to the table.

Here’s another Q & A example.

Prospective Employer: We’re looking for someone who isn’t afraid to step up and voice their opinion, even when it’s not popular. Are you comfortable with that?

Interviewee: Absolutely. In my current position, we recently created a new website. It was a very long and expensive process. However, as a typical user, I found it difficult to navigate and very disorganized. I had to express my opinion because I didn’t want us to put something out there that the clients wouldn’t like. However, I made sure that I approached it with suggestions and a positive spin. The technology team really appreciated it and they were willing to go back and make the adjustments. In the end, everyone was much happier with the site. Today, our traffic has increased by 60%.

You see? That answer was definitely from a STAR candidate!

As an Executive Assistant, I face the challenges of managing up on a daily basis. It seems to me that most office professionals – from administrative assistants to office managers – have to do at least some level of managing up. If you don’t know exactly what it means, you probably still do it. It’s an almost essential part of any career. And mastering this delicate art can be tricky.

What Does Managing Up Mean?

Most high level executives have a lot on their plate. They need help staying on track, managing time, and prioritizing tasks. That’s where we come in. Office support professionals are there to help them do all of these things. It can be awkward though. After all, telling your boss what he should and shouldn’t be doing at any given moment is a daunting task.

Managing up means doing just this. It’s a continuous process of knowing and understanding the needs of your boss. To effectively manage up, you must always be aware of the most critical tasks, projects, meetings, and other items on your boss’s agenda at any given time. It’s a matter of filling in the gaps, keeping the most important items in front of him and clearing away the unnecessary junk in the middle.

It can feel strange at first. At times, it can feel like babysitting. I sometimes think of myself as a professional nag because I’m constantly hounding my boss to do things or pushing him out the door so he won’t be late for a meeting. I used to consider this the worst part of the job. Now, I think it’s the most fun!

Addressing the Challenges

Obviously, the process of managing up can be challenging. There’s a delicate balance that must be achieved so that you strike the right note. The goal is to create a position for yourself as your boss’s right hand – that indispensible cohort that makes all things possible. You want to command your boss’s attention and manage him without making him feel like he’s being…well…managed. Done in the wrong way, managing up can backfire, making your boss feel stifled and out of sync. At the same time, you don’t want to appear like a complete suck up to the rest of the office. Trying to manage up by schmoozing won’t make you very popular.
So, how do you manage up effectively?

Try the following:

Communicate

I value communication as one of the most essential skills for professional success. And it’s absolutely critical for managing up. Talk to your boss about how he’d like you to handle day to day activities. Don’t guess. Ask whose phone call he’d like to be interrupted for. Ask what pressing projects he has on his plate. Ask what meeting simply cannot be rescheduled no matter what. Until you’ve worked with your boss for a long time, you won’t be able to just figure it out without some guidance. Even though he may expect you to be a mind reader, you’re probably not. Asking questions and really listening is the only way to understand your boss’s needs.

Recognize Weaknesses

Every boss has a few weaknesses (whether or not they freely admit it). It’s your job to minimize the appearance of them. For example: my boss is a pack rat. It’s incredibly frustrating and it can cause major disorganization. I have to manage this and I do so in many different ways (forgive me, I can’t share all my secrets here…). My point is this: don’t be afraid of seeing your boss for what he really is – a human being. Recognize his weak spots and do your best to “fill in the gaps”.

Be Assertive but Remember Who You’re Talking To

As I said before, managing up can sometimes feel like babysitting. But don’t forget where you are. Managing your boss is not the same as managing a 2 year old (though it sometimes feels that way!). If your boss’s weakness is that he is perpetually late for meetings, you must manage that by keeping him on schedule. However, you can’t act or sound like his mother. Chances are that won’t go over well. Be confident and assertive but watch your approach. With some people, you can push it. With others, you just can’t. You have to know who you’re dealing with.

I often have to practically push my boss out the door so he won’t be late for meetings. I have a very well rehearsed approach: about 30 minutes before he has to be out the door, I stroll casually into his office and remind him that he has a meeting coming up. I might hand him the materials or briefly review the purpose of the meeting. This is just a casual early reminder for him to start wrapping up what he’s working on. At 10 minutes before he has to be out, I’ll poke my head in the office and give him a 10 minute warning of some sort. If it appears that he’s engrossed in something and that I’m going to have to bug him, I’ll do the same thing at 5 minutes. When it’s time for him to leave, I’ll go in his office and ask if whatever he’s working on can be handed over to me instead. I’ll stand by his desk until he stops working. I’ll pack up his briefcase and clear off his desk if I have to. If I don’t, he’ll continue being absorbed in his work and he’ll never leave. My little routine probably wouldn’t work for everyone but my boss knows that being late is his biggest downfall. He’s even said that, no matter how mad or annoyed he gets, he needs me to be demanding about getting him out the door on time.

It’s your job to determine the level of assertiveness that will get the job done without completely frustrating your boss.

Build the Relationship

Overall, I think the most important piece of managing up is building an incredibly strong professional relationship with your boss. Be dependable, honest and trustworthy. Your boss will learn to truly rely on you if you are consistent. Don’t hide mistakes – discuss them openly and honestly and resolve them together. Build a relationship of mutual respect. Honor commitments and recognize that your work reflects on your boss. Help him look good and you’ll look good. You’re a team. Be a reliable, dependable support player and together, you’ll win the game.

Yesterday, I had a breakdown.

It was an all-out-temper-tantrum-kicking-screaming-crybaby-mess of a thing. Not one of my finest moments. But you know what? It felt good.

Ok. That’s not entirely true. But there is something truly satisfying about just letting it all out and allowing yourself to go into meltdown mode. And believe it or not, the process can be quite productive. After all, without breakdowns, there wouldn’t be breakthroughs.

Allow me to explain…

Breakdowns are a Natural Part of Progress

Everything in life is constantly shifting – businesses grow, people change, we go through waves of progress followed by stagnant lulls of boredom. As things move in their natural flow, we do our best to adapt. Businesses adapt procedures to deal with increased demand; people adapt behaviors and communication to maintain relationships; every day we roll with the punches. But, inevitably, there comes a point when the “old way” just doesn’t work anymore and a whole “new way” needs to be created. And the breakdown is the first clue that that point has been reached.

Consider the company that produces beautiful blue widgets. As they get more and more popular, the widget makers do their best to meet the demand. They strain their resources to the bone, pushing everyone and everything to keep producing. And then one day, their widget making machine breaks down because it just can’t handle the load. This sparks the breakthrough – it’s time to upgrade the machinery. The old way of doing things just isn’t appropriate for the new needs.

Breakdowns come in all shapes and forms. Most often, they’re not pretty. But they have to happen. You use processes that work until they don’t. And when they stop working, it’s a breakdown.

This happened a while ago at my office, when a major error was made in some client paperwork. Looking back, it was bound to happen sooner or later. The procedures had been put in place years ago, when the client load was much lighter. As more clients came in, things got hectic. Before long, the operations had become incredibly rushed due to the volume of work and the demand for fast turn times. But we were all so busy, no one had the time to sit down and re-evaluate the procedures. Instead, we all just kept forging ahead. The error, however, was the breakdown that made everyone stop. We had to turn the breakdown into a breakthrough by creating new procedures that helped spread out the work, making the volume more manageable for everyone and keeping the quality at the high levels we prided ourselves on. The new process was such an enormous improvement on so many levels, it was truly a breakthrough. The error was painful, but it almost seemed necessary.

Many times, the changes that come from breakdowns are huge leaps in progress. When you look back on the breakdown, you’re often tempted to say it was worth it. You know what I mean - have you ever had a productive argument? It’s the same thing! A communication breakdown that may have lead to a communication breakthrough. Sure, it was painful, but it got you somewhere.

How to Turn a Breakdown into a Breakthrough

A breakdown is a signal to stop where you are. Whether it’s a professional breakdown in procedure like the example above, or an emotional breakdown in your personal life, they are like big red flags being thrown into the air. They can appear in many different forms:

• Errors (procedural breakdown)
• Arguments (communication breakdown)
• Exhaustion (physical breakdown)
• Emotional hissy fits (probably a mixture of all of the above)

No matter what kind of breakdown you’re having, it’s pretty safe to assume you don’t want to have it again. Remember that breakdowns are signs that things need to change. When a breakdown is in process, allow it to run its course but don’t let it absorb you. These things happen. Accept it and move on.

Now, once the initial breakdown has passed, evaluate what happened. What sparked the argument? What caused the error? Don’t spend too much time rehashing all the gory details. Focus on the present and what can be done to prevent the same breakdown from happening again in the future.

My recent personal breakdown happened because I was frustrated with myself for not voicing an opinion on something when I should have. Instead, I waited and held my feelings inside until all of the sudden they came rushing out in the form of a hissy fit. Now, after reflecting on my breakdown, I can see exactly what happened and why. To prevent it from happening again – to turn my breakdown into a breakthrough – I’ve made a promise to speak openly about my opinions. Additionally, the poor souls who witnessed my hissy fit have recognized that I have some very strong opinions that are quite important to me. Granted, it wasn’t the best way to have handled myself, but alas, a breakdown is never pleasant.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating temper tantrums at work. And I’m certain that many people will argue that preventing breakdowns by being proactive is a much more effective route. But let’s be real: we’ve all experienced at least one type of breakdown. And we’ll experience many more. It’s how you handle a breakdown that can make it a positive, and productive, experience.

For those of you who couldn’t join us, I wanted to let you know that last week’s webinar – Meet Me in Cyberspace: The 411 on Virtual Meetings (Part 1) – was a resounding success! I was joined by Maria Braune from RollCall Business Solutions who shared some of her extensive web conferencing knowledge with us. Some of the topics we covered were:

• Common conferencing terms – what they mean and when to use them
• Types of conferences – how they work and when each type would be appropriate
• Virtual meeting etiquette – all the things our mothers never taught us about playing nice on the web!
• Some things to look at when choosing a web conference provider – Maria offered some interesting insight into the difference between purchasing a “seat” and a “per minute rate”.

If you missed it and you’re feeling really bummed right now, you’re in luck! We recorded it and now you can watch it at your own leisure! Just download the file and watch it on your computer. Download Part 1: Meet Me in Cyberspace Webinar

(FYI - This download is a zip file so it may take a minute to save it to your computer. Once it’s downloaded, unzip it by right clicking on it and selecting “extract all”. Then, you will be able to select one of the items labeled “play” that corresponds to the media player you want to use. There is a minute or so of “set up noises” before the session actually starts.)

RollCall has also provided us with a PDF that outlines the section on virtual meeting etiquette. So be sure to print that out and share it with the rest of the folks in your office. Download: PDF Conference Call Etiquette

And finally, RollCall is sponsoring Part 2 in this series, which is coming up on Thursday, April 24th at 2:00 EST. Register now!

I know that no one likes to be criticized. Personally, I’m pretty sensitive and criticism of any sort – constructive or otherwise – tends to upset me. However, in business you have to be able to take it. I’m not talking about insults or rude behavior. I’m talking about negative feedback – criticism that is meant to prevent problems, help you do your job better, or ensure things are done correctly.

As an Executive Assistant, my boss has to be able to tell me when I’ve done something wrong and correct me on it. How else would I ever improve? I know this and yet, I still have a difficult time handling it. It’s a necessary part of the job, but it still feels bad. If you’re like me, here are a few tips that might help you out:

1. Recognize Constructive Criticism

Negative feedback is not the same as an insult. Sure, it feels just as bad. But most of the time in the professional world, if someone is giving you criticism it’s not meant to be rude – it’s meant to help you improve. Try to remember that the person giving you the feedback is not an enemy. Even if the criticism is especially brutal, it shouldn’t be a personal thing. Of course, if you’re dealing with personal attacks, that’s a different story. If you’re in that situation, stop reading this article and go read How to Quit Your Job.

2. Put on Your “Big Girl” Pants

Ok, it’s fine to be sensitive. But we’re all adults here. People shouldn’t have to walk on egg shells to give you some feedback. If it makes you cry when someone tells you a project you worked on is not correct, you need to hike up your “Big Girl” pants and be strong. This is business. If you’re not 100% perfect 100% of the time, it’s just fine. But people have to be able to tell you what needs to change – otherwise, you’ll continue doing things wrong and you’ll be a menace to work with. It might be painful, but it’s for your own good. Like broccoli.

3. Make Use of It

When you get criticism, don’t just let it roll off your back. Take it to heart. Make changes and try to see why the criticism was given. More than likely, it was given as a way to help you. So, if suggestions are made, give them a try. Personally, I find that criticism is a lot easier to take when I realize that it’s useful. And the only way you’ll know that is by listening and being open to suggestions.

4. Let go of the Ego

This is my biggest problem. I have a hard time putting my pride aside. When someone offers criticism, even in a helpful way, my initial reaction is to get defensive. I have to work hard to remind myself that the criticism isn’t an attack on my character. And I have to bring myself back down to earth and say, “Self – you’re pretty great. But you’re not perfect. And the good news is: no one expects you to be.”
5. Consider the Source

I don’t want to paint with a broad brush and say that all construction criticism should be accepted. Sometimes, people are going to offer feedback that they think is helpful but, in reality, simply isn’t. A lot of times, you have to consider the source of the criticism. Is it your boss – whom you respect and want to please? Or is it a co-worker who is doesn’t really know what you do all day but thinks she’s got the answer to everything? I hope this doesn’t sound negative, but we all have those kinds of people in our offices: the people who think they know it all and have an opinion on everything. Sure, they might have some helpful constructive criticism once in a while, but don’t get too wrapped up in those kinds of things. Concentrate on the feedback that comes from people you respect, who know you, your job, your skills, and your work ethic and truly have your best interests in mind.

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